Get Wangled

I have a “word-a-day” calendar I received as a Christmas present. To explain how exciting my life is, I look forward to sitting down at my desk each day and tearing off the page to reveal the next word of the day. My conundrum is that the word for Feb. 23 was “wangle” and I’m having a hard time throwing it away.

Wangle: 1) to make, achieve, or get by contrivance: wangled a job for which she had no training. 2) to manipulate or juggle, especially fraudulently. 3) to extricate oneself from diffculty.

In the past, I think I’ve always misused the word “wrangle” in place of wangle. How wrong have I been! I’d say something like, “I really wrangled myself out of that one!” or some such nonsense at which those listening were probably thinking, “You fool!”

But now I know. Thanks to my handy word-a-day calendar, I can wangle myself out of future sticky wickets and be completely accurate from a grammar standpoint.

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JetBlue and Bald Brittney

I’ve been broadsided with distractions at work – so forgive the lack of delusional writing that’s often posted here. Today I’m in the midst of finding new and exciting ways to reduce my annual budget by $150,000 along with the usual flotsam and jetsam that never ceases. But I do have a couple of quick observations about recent news events that I just couldn’t pass up:

1) JetBlue is in the throes of a PR nightmare. Due to mother nature’s wrath of a storm in the Northeast last weekend – leading up to President’s Day, flights were cancelled, staff were delayed and waylaid in the wrong cities, and planes were grounded everywhere. Frequent flyers who have enjoyed JetBlue’s service for the past seven years suddenly turned disloyal. How could their airline let them down. And, what’s worse, a JetBlue flight sat on a tarmac for 10 hours, 100 feet from the jetway but couldn’t pull up to the jetway to let its passengers off the plane. Talk about pissed! What’s a company to do under such dire circumstances? Well, the CEO appeared on David Letterman to take all the harassment possible from the late night maven and did so remarkably. IN addition, the company placed full page ads in newspapers including The New York Times, apologizing for the poor service and promising to win back the trust of their customers. The whole mess reminds me of how fickle we can be as human beings. We can have the best consumer experience on the planet, but God forbid our favorite hotel, restaurant, retail store, or airline lets us down – even once! We will go Brutus all over their ass in five second flat. There is NO room for error in the service industry. No room at all. I find this especially true in the industry I work in – medical device technology. Be damned if a pacemaker or defibrillator doesn’t do what it’s suppose to do! The lawsuits will fly fast and furiously (even though these devices are made by human beings who are fallible). Technology breaks sometimes, just like mother nature waves her magic wand over the Northeast in mid-February.

2) Brittney Spears is everyone's current nightmare. (Special thanks to Indexed.blogspot.com for the graphic below). Can I tell you how much I despise this former wannabe pop star?! She had her day in the sun with average talent, at best. Now, thanks to her panty-less escapades in Vegas with another troll of a star – Paris Hilton – she continues to get her name in the headlines with stunts like shaving her head, getting tattooed and checking herself in to a rehab clinic (all in a 24 hour period I might add). Her publicist should be shot! Have you never heard about spacing out and timing your news?! Good grief! But back to BS (very appropriate initials for this has-been in my opinion), remember back in the '90s when both she and her arch nemesis, Christina Aguilera, were on the pop scene at the same time. Reviewers clambered over Spears like there was no tomorrow and little Christina sat quietly with her Genie in a Bottle one-hit-wonder song saying very little. Then along came her second CD and the music industry gasped, but the fans loved it and she rocketed up the charts -- her popularity soared with invites to sing at all the premiere events. She sang and wowed audience after audience with her voice and ability. A true artist. And now, as the antithesis of Spears, Aguilera is in charge of her affairs. She’s chosen her path with a great deal of integrity. We don’t see CA gallivanting around with Paris Hilton. Instead, she’s making amazing records and singing on the Grammy’s and talking about her next steps as an actress. Her success is just beginning, unlike Spears who can no longer sing or act her way out of a rehab center!

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Published At Last!

Well, it's just a little letter to the editor at the Minneapolis Star Tribune. But it does reach several hundred thousand households, so it's better than being published in the Storm Lake Pilot Tribune (which also happened back in 1986). Here's the letter...

OUR HEALTH CARE CRISIS
Dogs get better care
On Page B3 of the Feb. 9 Star Tribune, there is a story about Mr. Stubbs, a dog who lost two legs because of neglect. Mr. Stubbs is one lucky Shih Tzu because he was found, nursed back to full health and provided with prosthetic limbs at a cost of more than $4,000.

Meanwhile, this week in Minnesota, two children under the age of 10 died because they didn't get a flu shot. Even worse, 20,000 people in Minnesota are homeless every day -- half of them are children who don't receive proper nutrition or go to school because their caregiver can't provide these basic needs.

Can we please prioritize and start taking care of our kids by providing proper clothing, food, an education and a bed under a roof before thousands of dollars literally go to the dogs?

If there is one thing that really gets me it's how people, especially our leadership, in the U.S. tend to take better care of their animals and the rest of the world before we take care of the problems in our own neighborhoods. Look on any street corner. Look really hard. What do you see? A household with a refrigerator that has no decent food in it. A home that can't pay it's heat bill. Do those kids on the corner waiting for the school bus each morning even have mittens and socks to wear? When you drive downtown in the city, take a look under the bridges and in the alleys. You might be surprised at what you find. So my point is simple: Let's take care of US. Let's feed our own starving children for a change.

Now it's time to go to work on that novel that's been brewing in my head for years and years!

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Moving On

As usual on Friday mornings, I dropped off my son at his mom’s house. But we were a little early this morning. Earlier than normal because of an appointment I had to attend. As the garage door went up, I noticed her car in the garage, but parked far off to the right. It’s a three-car garage and she only has one vehicle. Then I noticed the second set of tire tracks where a vehicle was parked next to hers and had recently been moved. (Our roads are snow packed, so the tell tale signs of a car’s presence in a garage warm enough to melt frozen ice and snow from the tires and undercarriage is pretty obvious).

She had a visitor. An overnight visitor.

We’ve been separated for more than a year, divorced for seven months. I know she’s dated because the kids will talk about her dates and I fully expect she’s had sleepovers before. But the obvious signs of that in what used to be “my” garage – the place I kept clean and organized, the place where I watched thunderstorms, the place where I kept track of the kids outdoor toys, and yes, the place I left behind – the sight of tire tracks made me blink.

We blink and we move on and by Noon today I will have forgotten about the tire tracks in the garage.

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Why We Do It

Why do we do it? Minnesotans are either a) a hearty bunch of happy-go-luckies or b) dumb. I'm still deciding. Even though I've lived in Minneapolis for the last seven years, it's occurred to me that I may never "adjust" to the cold snaps that happen each year.

Today it's above 0 degrees Fahrenheit. It's +1 outside and snowing. There were more than 100 accidents caused by slick roadways and idiot drivers trying to get to work on time this morning. And, what's more, this is an annual thing. We expect it. We nod in anticipation of the cold. A cold so frigid that our lips crack and bleed. Our cuticles peel back. Our skin is so pasty white due to lack of sun and dryness that we look like ghosts (I just noticed how ghostly Don Shelby, handsome anchor at local CBS affiliate WCCO really looks last night on the 10 p.m. news).

Yesterday, the Minneapolis Star Tribune reported this fun story...

In the Twin Cities, the temperature rose above zero just before 3 p.m., ending a stretch of 63 hours at zero or below, all but two of them below zero. The low during that point was 16 below Monday morning. The mercury is expected to rise to 8 above today, with highs in the low teens through Friday.

The recent cold snap was not even close to historic, and not even top 10 caliber. It was the longest stretch of zero-or-below readings since an 82-hour siege from Jan. 28 into Jan. 31, 2004, according to assistant Minnesota state climatologist Pete Boulay. The record of 186 hours was set Dec. 31, 1911, into Jan. 8, 1912.

And that, my friends, is why we love Minnesota. Where else in the world can a person live where winters and summers are so extreme? In six months, it will be 90 degrees and 90 percent humidity. We will sweat just walking from the couch to the fridge. We will pitch our tents in state parks and fight a blur of mosquitoes because we're a hearty bunch of happy-go-luckies who won't let a little harsh weather stop us from living!

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It's a Holiday

Today is Superbowl Sunday. As my kids and I munched on homemade submarine sandwiches "just like Quiznos makes," we talked about the relevance of the Superbowl. How, for example, I always know how many Superbowls have been played, for, you see, the very first one was played the year I was born. Today marks the 41st Superbowl.

In that conversation my son, in all his wisdom, asked why the Superbowl wasn't a national holiday. That prompted a great conversation about how cool it would be if the Monday after Superbowl Sunday was a federal holiday - no work, no school and time to recover from the party, the food, and in many cases, too much to drink. A brilliant idea by all accounts. So please, write your senators and congressional representatives!

Now, it's the start of the fourth quarter and I'm still smiling at the halftime show which featured Prince. I've followed Prince's grand career - some of which is rather forgettable. But the truth is, this musician is a tremendous artist and will be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before long. Back in the 80s when Prince released Purple Rain and his subsequent movie of the same title, I became a huge fan of that album. The songs throughout "Purple Rain" continue to grab me in very emotional ways. 1984 was a time in my life in which major changes were happening and many lyrics addressed exactly how I felt that summer 22 years ago. Tonight, when Prince broke out into Purple Rain (singing IN the rain, mind you) I once again felt so moved. I HAVE to go by Purple Rain on CD or at the very least, visit iTunes for a few downloads.

I never meant 2 cause u any sorrow
I never meant 2 cause u any pain
I only wanted 2 one time see u laughing
I only wanted 2 see u laughing in the purple rain

Purple rain purple rain
Purple rain purple rain
Purple rain purple rain
I only wanted 2 see u bathing in the purple rain

I never wanted 2 be your weekend lover
I only wanted 2 be some kind of friend
Baby I could never steal u from another
It's such a shame our friendship had 2 end

Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing
It's time we all reach out 4 something new
That means u 2
U say u want a leader
But u can't seem 2 make up your mind
I think u better close it
And let me guide u 2 the purple rain

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